Happy New Year!!!

I love New Years! I love the anticipation of what a New Year can bring and I love setting my intentions for the new year!

2025 will be the Year I discontinue CPP Disability and start earning a sustainable income. There I put it out into the universe.

I have been disabled by the effects of surviving sepsis 3-times. What is sepsis you ask? Sepsis is the body’s overwhelming response to any pathogen. It can be viral, bacterial or fungal in nature.

Have you heard of Long Covid? That is the long-term, possibly lifelong, symptoms you never overcome due to COVID-19. Anyone who had a severe case of COVID was actually suffering from Sepsis.

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I’m a lucky sepsis survivor! I was never admitted to the ICU and I didn’t lose any limbs. Sepsis Survivors commonly lose limbs because the blood leaves the peripheral areas of the body to fuel the organs which often are in failure.

However, I did have bipolar atelectasis, or partial lung collapse, during my 1st infection. I no longer have the lung capacity to sing and dance at the same time. In January of 2012, 8 months after my 1st infection, I remember trying to do CrossFit. I was in the hospital for a week!

I also have gastroparesis which means my stomach empties slowly, my intestines need stimulation, and I have malabsorption issues. Some days my abdomen is so swollen I look 6 months pregnant, but with a food baby. This causes me a lot of physical pain and hurts my vanity.

Then my liver was heavily damaged during my 2nd infection. For years I was nauseated by food and drink. I wore a mask when my Husband ate and I now have a superpower nose. One time at a medical conference, I smelled gin and tonic at 9 AM. I asked my table mates who on earth is drinking at this hour, but in fact, it was hand sanitizer at the next table.

Most survivors also suffer from chronic fatigue syndrome and post-exertional malaise. I liken myself to an old cell phone. I don’t work properly, I can’t keep a charge & whatever charge I have depletes quickly. There is no low battery warning either. I call it hitting the wall and then my Husband gives me a piggyback to bed.

However, I think I notice the neurological deficits the most. I’ve had a migraine for almost 7 years straight. I found that binging tv, writing, and rereading pages was the way to rewire my brain to accept new information. Voluntarily, I stopped driving because my depth perception and peripheral vision are off, even with a new prescription.

My mental health has been heavily affected. Research shows there is a marked increase or worsening in psychological disorders post-sepsis, probably because of the heavy use of sedatives and opioids in treating sepsis. I used to be full of confidence and now I am unsure of myself. Leaving my house used to be a scary experience because I was anxiety stricken. I was depressed and eventually became suicidal because I was existing versus living.

So what is making me so positive about 2025? I feel a strong urge to contribute to my household and community. I am no longer bed/couch-ridden and obsessed with learning new skills. When I got sick the world still communicated in cursive, so, it was a steep learning curve learning computer skills but apparently, I have a knack.

To my fellow survivors, you’re going to hate me for saying this as I hated hearing it, but you’ve gotta MOVE! Start with 3 things you want to accomplish in a day. For me, it started with having a daily shower which takes a lot of energy when you’re recovering from a critical illness and in chronic pain. Then I would challenge myself to empty the dishwasher or do some laundry. I even used an app called Habitica to remind myself of what I CAN do.

13 years later, I try to get 5000 steps daily, I’ve started hot yoga, I prepare supper, keep a tidy house (which is new to me but beneficial to my mental health), and work on obtaining skills to return to the workforce. I’m not successful every day, but I’ve also learned to be kind to myself on the days when I need to rest.

I just know 2025 is going to be our year!